I am scared.

I am worried about a blood test I have to go take today.
Its not anything where I fear I might be dying, but it is still a big deal, something that will determine if I am going to be continuing the life changes I had planned.

I know God has a reason for everything he does, and I refuse to hold anything against him.
But If things turn out to not go so well, I am going to be wondering why it had to happen.

I needed this..

Sometimes it can be funny why God let's things happen in your life.
Even when they are miserable, cold, cruel, purely depressing.

This weekend happened to be one of those times.

What started out as me being stubborn to my boyfriend, and not telling him what was wrong turned out to be a weekend filled with too many tears and little words between us.

I hated every moment of it.
In fact, for anyone that knows me I really LOVE my sleep. Yet I slept a total of 6 hours (if that) this weekend.

But after all the bitterness, came a sweet outcome.
I realized a lot about our relationship, and how much he mattered to me.
So it was a blessing disguised in a couple of terrible days.
Now I know how much I love Joe, I mean I knew I loved him a whole lot before but I didn't know how much it was exactly.
I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, and I find it hard to believe that I could have been with anyone else prior.
I hope that I get to be with him now and forever.